Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A new year, in February.

Happy New Year!

I know it's rather late to say such things, but I did start this entry back in January.  And now it's the end of February and I still haven't found the time to finish this thing.  In some ways maybe I needed a little break from reading and writing blogs but I've never stopped thinking about what I'd say. Although I have wondered if writing my thoughts down amounts to much.  It's made me question why I do this.  I know I'm not a great writer, I'm not poetic like other bloggers I read, hell sometimes I just don't even know if anyone is reading this thing.  When I really think about why I write here, I think that I just don't want to forget.  I want to always remember the things that Maya does, and to share this with her family and friends. 

I often describe myself as being a hands on mother.  I say this because I can't sit back at the playground and watch my kid play on the jungle gym with the other kids.  I have to be right there with her because she has a hard time dealing with the height of the platform and her sensory issues kick in. At that point she usually holds on to me for dear life.  She doesn't always know what to do with the sand toys I bring with us.  So I remind her how to play. And although she loves to watch the other children playing at the park, she doesn't know how best to interact with them. But these little moments remind me of the upside to being a stay at home mom.  See needs me.  More than that, I am grateful that I can be there as her support and comfort.

Otherwise, Miss Maya is pretty independent.  I say independent but really I mean she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do until she's ready.  Including go to the potty when mama wants her to go.  Hold hands on the side walk or even walk on the side walk for that matter, (she rather be carried).  She has always done things in her own time.  This of course has been a learning tool for me.  Let's just say everyday I learn more and more about patience and acceptance.

With Maya at preschool and 9 therapies a week, I don't have to tell you it's been really busy here.  Results from a new speech evaluation shed some light on Maya's speech delay.  They said Maya leans towards having Apraxia.  So we added three more sessions of speech therapy per week.  The center we go to has specific techniques that they have developed and so far we are seeing very good progress. 

One day at therapy she was trying to mimic what the speech therapist was telling me.  It was so cool to see this happen.  To recognize that she IS trying makes all the difference in the world.  She is mimicking what barney is singing, what the fresh beat band is singing.  It's so wonderful.  On top of this, for the last few months she has started to say "kay" as her yes. She is learning to communicate not just though ASL but through her voice.  It's slow but everyone who knows her, sees the difference.

I know that Maya is smart in so many ways, I know she understand us clearly.  I know little about Apraxia, but what I have been told is that the connection between the brain and action are lost somewhere along the way.  She knows what she wants to say I'm sure, but she just can't make her vocal cords and mouth do what it needs to do.  The fact that she is not talking sometimes makes me sad.  But I have learned to read Maya's body gestures, facial expressions, ASL signs and even her babbling sounds.

To hear her say words, like kay, go, bye, and of late we are working on Barney, more, and potty.  Well you can imagine how my heart races.  I'm also learning to accept that Maya is where she is meant to be.  It is a challenge but she will learn to communicate with others, whether it is through ASL, a speech device or her own voice.  I do think that her personality is strong, she is a strong person and she will succeed in anything she wants to do.  One thing is certain, I don't take anything for granted with Maya.  Every little milestone she makes I take note and I hope to always share them here with you.