Monday, July 20, 2009

Saturday, July 18, 2009

eye surgery

yesterday maya had eye surgery. this was the first time she has had surgery of any kind. we've considered ourselves very lucky because even though she has three little holes in her heart she has been able to get by without any invasive medical procedures.

since maya has been crossing her eyes, the doctor said he would loosen the muscles slightly in both her eyes. i have to say i was nervous, mostly because i have some doubts about the surgery since i have read that there is a 20-80% success rate. no mother wants their child to go into surgery thinking this might not work. nevertheless we have heard good things about maya's doctor and decided to go for it.

it's interesting that the night before and the morning of the procedure i kept a pretty calm outlook. i guess part of me wanted to keep my chin up for maya. she didn't seem to know at all where she was, or what was going to happen. we checked in, she got her vitals, she put on her gown. and then when it came time for them to take her to surgery, it finally dawned on me...she is going to be away from me under the care of someone else. i won't be able to watch over her or protect her. i felt very helpless at that moment. it felt really strange walking away from her, leaving her there on her own.

we waited, and waited...and finally the doctor came out and said "she did great". after he disappeared we still had to wait until the nurse came to get us. this is when i started to get really anxious, because i know my little girl...she doesn't like to be with strangers and she will let you know it from the get go. so when the nurse came over to get us i walked with a fast pace, knowing she probably was a bit pissed off at this point. as soon as we entered post-op, i could hear her crying. she was not happy at all!

the protector in me, immediately took her in my arms and tried to calm her down. i've just never seen her like that, so upset, not wanting to be held or breastfed. the nurses said it was because she was disoriented and she couldn't see. that made sense but i still was sad that she had to go through all of this. finally after 45 mins of wrestling with her she calmed down and we were ready to go home.

the whole day i could feel my anxiety go up because she was feeling so poorly. she was running a low grade fever the whole time, which didn't help matters any. she wasn't even into her signing time videos like i thought she would be. she went to bed earlier then usual and only woke up once...sleeping until almost 7 a.m.

today, a day after surgery, my little girl seems to be back to normal. she's back to crawling around the entire house, watching her videos, playing with her toys. you wouldn't be able to tell she had surgery except for the blood shot eyes she has now. they don't seem to be bothering her at all though. it's amazing how quick she has bounced back. in the next few weeks we will see if this surgery was successful. we are hoping for the best.

maya feeling a lot better, the next day:

Saturday, July 11, 2009

amazing discoveries at home

this week maya made some great leaps toward some major milestones. let me preface this by saying maya, her ot (occupational therapist) and i have been working for many weeks on the action of "putting in" objects into a container. it's been a big struggle because she is still at the grabbing and throwing to the side phase.

this week, her ot suggested that maybe we step back a bit and work on things that maya enjoys and can do. if we focus on this then maybe she will not be so frustrated and stubborn at working on the new tasks. ironically as we were talking about this, maya decided to show us what she could do by grabbing a block and putting it into the container. this was the first time that she did this without our help. she just threw the blocks right into the container. it was such a great moment that we couldn't help but laugh with delight.

that same day, while i was putting dishes into the dishwasher, maya came over with a little yogurt container (i save them so she can play with them) and threw the container into the dishwasher. i was just so touched by this action. it was like she wanted to help do the dishes. she was just mimicking me i'm sure, but she got it. she really got it.

by the way, the dishwasher is by far her favorite place to be. she loves to look at herself in the reflection. she will spend quite a bit of time there signing to herself. sometimes she signs "baby signing time" over and over again and other times she just dances to the music i am playing. i try to do the dishes when she is not around so she won't try and grab anything, but once i open that door, or she hears the rattling of a plate going in, she quickly crawls over to investigate. she is curious, she is watching and she is learning.

more discoveries coming soon...

Monday, July 6, 2009

first swim, july 4th '09

this was a wonderful fourth of july. this year we were invited to a friends house for a swim. this was maya's first swim experience. boy did she love it! she had such a happy face the whole time she was in the water. she was calm and curious all at the same time.

when i was in the pool with maya i thought about a few photographs i have tucked away in a photo album. they are of myself when i was a baby, swimming in a pool. i was a chunky baby and it looks like i also liked the water. i was thinking, while i held maya, that once i was her size and my mom was holding me in a pool. what a wonderful experience this life has given me. to be able to have maya in my life is such a gift. and to think i almost missed this chance of being a mother...but i'm glad that life had other plans for me.