it's true, i did it yesterday, i thought about all the little ones i know that are turning 1 lately, remembering their delighted mother's eyes, the joy that those first few steps bring. i wished, just for a moment that maya wasn't so delayed, i felt my heart get heavy and then the inside battle began, torn between happiness for the little ones and sadness for my sweet girl. she is growing up with them, almost equals, and then one day they take off and and never turn back. they move so fast, on their tippy toes, wobbling at first, then faster and faster they go. maya watches them, sometimes she crawls after them, sometimes not. i feel happy and sad all at the same time.
i pride myself on not feeling this way, there is so much joy i feel because of her. of course there are struggles i don't deny that, but i don't ever want to make maya feel as if she is a burden, she is not. she is a gift i would never exchange. but sometimes i just wish she would walk already!
...oh well, there is always tomorrow. yes, yes, i know one day soon i will feel like i'm floating on a cloud, the day maya takes those first few steps, and takes off running. i will run after her like all the other mothers, i will also feel my heart soar.