Wednesday, April 14, 2010

for 15 mins....

it's true, i did it yesterday, i thought about all the little ones i know that are turning 1 lately, remembering their delighted mother's eyes, the joy that those first few steps bring. i wished, just for a moment that maya wasn't so delayed, i felt my heart get heavy and then the inside battle began, torn between happiness for the little ones and sadness for my sweet girl. she is growing up with them, almost equals, and then one day they take off and and never turn back. they move so fast, on their tippy toes, wobbling at first, then faster and faster they go. maya watches them, sometimes she crawls after them, sometimes not. i feel happy and sad all at the same time.

i pride myself on not feeling this way, there is so much joy i feel because of her. of course there are struggles i don't deny that, but i don't ever want to make maya feel as if she is a burden, she is not. she is a gift i would never exchange. but sometimes i just wish she would walk already!

...oh well, there is always tomorrow. yes, yes, i know one day soon i will feel like i'm floating on a cloud, the day maya takes those first few steps, and takes off running. i will run after her like all the other mothers, i will also feel my heart soar.

3 comments:

Becca said...

Oh, how we've all been there! And are still there, although for delays other than walking now. Yep. But Maya WILL walk, and when she does, you'll be, like, "wow, that was fast!" It'll be sudden. And when she does, you can bet her language will begin to take off. You know that I still struggle when Sammi's around typical kids. I assume it'll continue to happen, although I guess we may become a bit more desensitized to the differences as time goes by. *HUGS*

Michelle said...

Yep - been there done that, still have the t-shirt.
You do get desensitized, and you don't. I still have moments where I think it shouldn't be this way. But I love him (all of him, just as he is) and this is just the way things are sometimes...

Rosa Maria said...

Maya and Tommy are the same age. Even although, they are not walking, I can see their skills are focused in other areas. It is hard sometimes when I see my son with other kids and he cannot physically play at the same label than them. I think that Maya and Tommy are facing similar issues (lack of motivation to walk). Keep stimulating her vestibular system (put her up site down, play pony ride, take her to play outside as much as you can, play with her standing). I am facing what you are facing right now. My son is becoming to heavy and strong for me and it's harder to hold him. We both are waiting for the day we can see them be on their feet and walking out of the door to play. Be strong and keep your faith. Feel free to email me.