i'm back!

boy have i missed you all! i haven't been able to read any blogs lately or even write because we have been doing some traveling lately.  so today during maya's respite time i decided not to go to the gym but instead come to a local coffee/cafe and do some writing.  it's been a long time since i've used respite to really relax, just hang out and go within.  usually i'm trying to run errands, shop, workout, or socialize.  it's good but there is nothing that can replace slowing down a little, having a cup of joe and doing a little writing.  so.....

we always said that when maya started walking we would start traveling, i think we said this mainly to help us through the the times of limited to no travel.  before maya i have always tried to travel as much as i could.  going to a new place, experiencing the people and culture of a different location has been a passion of mine for along time.   but after maya was conceived, traveling became limited for various reasons.

when maya was born, one of the ways my husband helped me and perhaps himself deal with the challenge was to say, "maya will be a world traveler!"  or "maya's going to climb mount everest!"  it really touched my heart because he was basically saying that she can do anything and she will be a role model to everyone.  but heart of hearts, i think there was a part of me that started to focus too much on the "work" maya had to do.  physical therapy, speech, occupational, feeding and so on, has taken a lot of time to manage and i don't want maya to miss out on any opportunity to develop.  managing the home, being a mom, (ie: a teacher and therapist) has taken a great deal of time.  the fact is i have taken on the responsibility of managing our daughter's life.  she is like a little super star, and i am her assistant.

all in all i don't regret a thing, but i can see now that i need to enjoy things that aren't on the agenda.  perhaps throw in a little curve ball every once in a while. like going to a new place.  a place none of us have ever been before. balance is something i think about everyday and in a way traveling has made me realize that i need to relax and have fun a little more.  i think i'm back, or at least this is a step towards me coming back into my own again.  the girl who loves to travel, loves to laugh and take photographs, the girl who loves to watch other people and think about what makes the world go round. there is more to me than just being a mom to maya, there is a lot more.

next stop danville, san jose, monterey california, i can't wait to tell you all about it....